Your mindset is everything!  Sometimes people find it hard to make shifts in their lives and relationships because the first thing that needs to shift before any change can take place, is the shift in our mindset.

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The kicker is that most people will attend to make changes in their lives but are discouraged when they are not consistent. That’s why millions of people all over the world make resolutions at the beginning of the year but soon find themselves returning to old habits months later. Our minds are powerful tools.  Some behavior professionals would argue that the shift in your mind is the hardest shift to make when attempting to adapt behavior.

I’d like to bring some awareness on how to recognize if you’re feeling stuck and not having lasting changes in your life is due because of mindset.  With that being said, YOU MAY NEED A MINDSET SHIFT IF….

You May Need A Mindset Shift If…

1. You struggle with imagining the future differently

Where do you envision your life in the next 6 months?  What about the next 2 years?  I’m going to go out on a limb and stretch it to the next 10 years?  Do the very thought of looking at your life that far in the future frighten you so much that you can’t see yourself that far ahead?

Chances are, you are struggling to imagine your future differently because you are afraid to fail.  The fear of failure is always connected to a spirit of fear.  Fear keeps us feel stuck and not knowing how to move forwards or unable to see our lives differently from where it is right now.

The truth is, We should always be growing and “pressing towards the mark” as scripture tells us.

14 I keep trying (press towards the goal)  to reach the goal and get the prize. That prize is mine because God called me through Christ to the life above. Philippians  3:14 (ICB)

If you are not doing that, you may be experiencing a mental block that needs to be worked through. The reality is, you will go in whatever direction your thinking is headed.  This is why is it vital to work through mindset issues.

2. Your thinking is black and white 

Given the racial tensions of this time in our nation in the United States, black and white is often associated with race.  However, when discussing mindset, black and white thinking is used to described an individual with an “all or nothing” view of life or situations.  For these said individuals, they envision life as either all good or all bad with no possibility of achieving balance.

This kind of thinking is not good in that one needs a healthy degree of balance in order to rationally plan for the future and/or be realistic about their present situation. Only then can a person’s plans become real and achievable.  Without this thinking, the person can easily come off as overly negative and critical or too optimistic—which is a pretty word for hippy thinking.

3.  You attract people who are toxic 

Ask any relationship expert and they will tell you how detrimental it is to be in relationship with a person who is toxic.  Being in a relationship, with a toxic person whether platonic or romantic, impacts how you look at yourself and almost always destroys your self-confidence. When a person’s self-confidence is shattered, they will struggle with self-doubt and negative self talk.

Negative self-talk involves saying emotionally destructive words to yourself such as, “I’ll never be able to change” or “I’m stupid and no one will want me.”  Beating up on yourself emotionally will not motivate you to change.  In fact, each negative word you say to yourself is like a shovel digging an even deeper pit with each insult.

4.  “Can’t win for losing” or “when it rains it pours” attitudes (negative attitudes or outlooks about life)

You see, the thing about having a negative outlook on life is that you actually create your world with what you say.  I remember when I was pregnant with our last son and was looking for midsize SUVs.  We looked for months but could not find one in our price range. I would see a midsize SUV everywhere I travelled.  After we found our Explorer, I stopped seeing midsized SUVs.

The thing is, I was seeing them all over the place because that is what I was thinking about.  My subconscious mind told me to be on the lookout for them.

Friend, your brain is the same way. Whatever you are feeding yourself is going to be what you receive. Why not pour good things into your mind.  To do so, find 3 things that you can be grateful for each day and repeat them periodically throughout the day.  When you’re tempted to go back to being comfortable in negativity, remember that how you view your circumstances aide in creating your atmosphere.

5.  You struggle with celebrating others

If you haven’t got it by now, being negative (in any way) leads to a mindset block.  When we celebrate others, we understand that what good happens for someone else can also happen for you. If you are unable to celebrate when good happens to others, you could be struggling with fear and are in need of a mindset shift.

Can I help you?  Fear will have you stuck and messed up if you listen to it.  It will also have you believing that you are a bad person because positive  things are not happening for you.  Fear will keep you stuck in comparison and not realizing that our Father in Heaven is just and is not showing favoritism.

If something has not happened for you that you have been desiring to happen, it could be an issue of timing.  So, simply tell yourself this, “just because it hasn’t happened, don’t mean that it want and right now I’m going to celebrate someone that it has happened for”.

Another reality could be that some things for some over others because they’ve put in the HARD WORK. Anything you want to happen in your life can happen.  Be patient, put in the work and celebrate others with all of your heart!

Friend, if you’ve gotten this far, There’s a good chance that it is time for a mindset shift.  If you’re not sure if you’re ready for a shift, check out 3 Signs That It May Be Time To Make A Shift  to see where you are.  The good news is that you don’t have to do it alone.

The Find Your Relationship Voice Private Facebook Group was designed for women like you who want to change but not sure how to.  This community is designed to uplift and inspire change.  There’s some pretty neat changes happening in there (hint:  I’m about to announce a free 7 day training dealing with mindset and relationships 😉).

You heard it first so 🤫

Not sure if a private group is for you?  Schedule a FREE 15 minute discovery and let’s chat!