According to The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, “1 in 4 women experience some form of domestic violence from an intimate partner”.  How do you know that you are experiencing signs of trauma after an unhealthy or toxic relationship?



According to the stats listed above, for every 4 women you know, one of them will have encountered some form of trauma at the hands of an intimate partner. Additionally, relationship trauma happens when you have experienced prolonged emotional or physical distress at the hands of someone that you love and are or have been connected to.

What Is Trauma

The American Psychological Association defines trauma as an emotional response to a terrible event; for example, an accident, rape or natural disaster are all considered to induce symptoms of trauma. Immediately after the event, the person may experience shock or denial, which are typical responses to experiencing trauma. Longer term effects include; unpredictable emotions, flashbacks, strained relationships and even physical symptoms like headaches or nausea. 

Signs of Trauma

Other emotional reactions to trauma may also include feeling unloved, unwanted, easily triggered, guarded, defensive, unable to trust or the inability to have genuinely close and connected relationship.  You also may feel like you need to protect yourself or even worse, you attract partner that treat you the same way or worse than how you feel about yourself.  

At the root of trauma is fear—fear that you will experience it again. This fear is then followed by avoidance, hyper-vigilence or feeling stuck. 

Trauma leaves scars

Many people who have experienced trauma, will begin adapting their environments to protect themselves from the trauma ever occurring again or using maladaptive behaviors, such as alcoholism for instance, to help them cope with their symptoms.

Here’s the thing about trauma, the heaviness of the pain shows up in various aspects. Emotional disconnection, self-denial and dissociation are side effects of unhealed trauma.

Relationship Trauma

Relationship trauma happens when you have experience prolong emotional or physical distress at the hand of someone that you love or have been connected to at some time. The thing about the pain from trauma is that it shows up in different areas of your life.  Particularly, in your relationships.

Effect of relationship trauma

When people have unprocessed trauma they may become guarded and unable to nurture themselves or others.

The pain can also show up in your career as “hard work” or “over-achieving” which could be fueled by your fear of not wanting your children to grow up struggling like you did.  Here’s the thing about trauma and its baggage, it keeps you from truly living your life unapologetically.

You Can Heal

If this resonates with you and you have been thinking about doing some deep searching about your life lately, now may be the time to do something about it. It is common for those suffering from trauma to repress painful memories.  However, these memories do not go away.  They may show back up as triggers and intrusive thoughts.

Repressing painful memories may have served a purpose for survival but may no longer serve you where you are at this time in your life.  When this happens, the memories start to resurface and you begin desiring to face the pain.

This is a good place to be in, though it may also be a painful one. Whatever your situation may be, you can heal. You are worthy of love and you can have a healthy relationship even if your partner chooses to not go on the journey with you. Let me show you how. Join our


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